Stick a rocket up your bleep

As with christmas the annual firework letting off for no reason at all comes way before the actual november the 5th. This weekend the sky above our village has been a blitz re-run. The frequent bang whalloop and whizz has been the soundtrack to my weekend nights. It’s not that I hate fireworks, nope they look nice. The problem I have is how people let them off for so long and without any consideration. Our dog for instance now assumes she is being invaded and has spent all weekend hiding behind various chairs and head butting doors to find someone to shake near. I will admit being a labrador which is a gun dog, that being scared of fireworks is possibly a little strange. It’s a fact though when it comes to bang whalloop whizz she’s behind a chair before the wha.

So, those jolly souls that let of fireworks for 5 weekends running and attempt to gouge their child’s eyes out with sparklers; they aren’t considering the effects to others of their hilarious nightly enslaught. When I say I don’t hate fireworks I have a further problem other than the rather large and self standing problem of it sending my dog into a state of fear for over a month of the year. There is bonfires too. It’s not the bonfires, nope fire looks nice. Big fire looks really nice. It’s the organised events I take humberance to. You turn up, pay loads, get food poisoning from the half defrosted / half cremated food, then you get a crook in your neck trying to see a few lights in the sky that lasts about 3 seconds. I think I’m getting old referring to a crook in the neck.

I have decided that it’s not just christmas I’m going to bah humbug – nope it’s fireworks too. Time to put the sand bags out, black out the windows and stay in distracting my dog with ‘look over there’ games and minty fresh bonio. Is it summer soon?

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